Do you suffer from a maladaptive cognitive schema?

A maladaptive schema is a pervasive self-defeating or dysfunctional schema (often about the self, the world, or relationships) which has a negative impact on one’s mood or functioning.  Although everyone is a little different when it comes to schemas,  researchers have found that maladaptive schemas often fall into one of the following categories. 

Whilst, understandably, not everyone likes the idea of being labelled, others find that having a name for what's going on in their mind is a huge relief and makes things easier to understand. 

DISCONNECTION & REJECTION

Schemas in this category centre around a belief that your needs will not ultimately be met by others, and can be associated with a difficulty in forming stable bonds with others.

1. ABANDONMENT / INSTABILITY

This schema is defined by perceived unpredictability and instability of close relationships.

People who have developed the abandonment / instability schema exhibit chronic anxiety about losing their loved ones. They have exaggerated expectations that their significant others will eventually leave them (i.e. for someone better or because they will die). It involves the sense that significant others will not be able to continue providing emotional support, connection, strength, or practical protection.

2. MISTRUST / ABUSE
The expectation that others will hurt, abuse, humiliate, cheat, lie, manipulate, or take advantage. Usually involves the perception that the harm is intentional or the result of unjustified and extreme negligence. May include the sense that one always ends up being cheated relative to others or “getting the short end of the stick.”

3. EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION
Expectation that one’s desire for a normal degree of emotional support will not be adequately met by others. The three major forms of deprivation are:
A. Deprivation of Nurturance: Absence of attention, affection, warmth, or companionship.
B. Deprivation of Empathy: Absence of understanding, listening, self-disclosure, or mutual sharing of feelings from others.
C. Deprivation of Protection: Absence of strength, direction, or guidance from others.

4. DEFECTIVENESS / SHAME
The feeling that one is defective, bad, unwanted, inferior, or invalid in important respects; or that one would be unlovable to significant others if exposed. May involve hypersensitivity to criticism, rejection, and blame; self-consciousness, comparisons, and insecurity around others; or a sense of shame regarding one’s perceived flaws. These flaws may be private (e.g., selfishness, angry impulses, unacceptable sexual desires) or public (e.g., undesirable physical appearance, social awkwardness).

5. SOCIAL ISOLATION / ALIENATION
The feeling that one is isolated from the rest of the world, different from other people, and/or not part of any group or community.

IMPAIRED AUTONOMY & PERFORMANCE

Schemas in this category are centred around a lack of sense of self and self-agency. People who develop this type of schema have not formed a stable perception of who they are or a sense of self-competence.

6. DEPENDENCE / INCOMPETENCE
Belief that one is unable to handle one’s everyday responsibilities in a competent manner, without considerable help from others (e.g., take care of oneself, solve daily problems, exercise good judgment, tackle new tasks, make good decisions). Often presents as helplessness.

7. VULNERABILITY TO HARM OR ILLNESS
Exaggerated fear that imminent catastrophe will strike at any time and that one will be unable to prevent it. Fears focus on one or more of the following: (A) Medical Catastrophes: e.g., heart attacks, AIDS; (B) Emotional Catastrophes: e.g., going crazy; (C) External Catastrophes: e.g., elevators collapsing, victimized by criminals, airplane crashes, earthquakes.

8. ENMESHMENT / UNDEVELOPED SELF
Excessive emotional involvement and closeness with one or more significant others (often parents), at the expense of full individuation or normal social development. Often involves the belief that at least one of the enmeshed individuals cannot survive or be happy without the constant support of the other. May also include feelings of being smothered by, or fused with, others OR insufficient individual identity. Often experienced as a feeling of emptiness and floundering, having no direction, or in extreme cases questioning one’s existence.

9. FAILURE
The belief that one has failed, will inevitably fail, or is fundamentally inadequate relative to one’s peers, in areas of achievement (school, career, sports, etc.). Often involves beliefs that one is stupid, inept, untalented, ignorant, lower in status, less successful than others, etc.

IMPAIRED LIMITS

Schemas in this category can be linked to issues with setting both personal and interpersonal limits.

On a personal level, people with schemas from this domain usually have difficulties controlling their impulses, engaging in goal-directed behaviour, taking responsibility, and following rules.

On an interpersonal level, these adults might disregard the needs and rights of others and thus have insufficient capacity to cooperate in social contexts. 

Schemas from this domain usually develop in children whose parents did not set enough limits. For example, they spoiled the child, did not provide enough guidance, and did not encourage the child to exercise self-discipline.

10. ENTITLEMENT / GRANDIOSITY
The belief that one is superior to other people; entitled to special rights and privileges; or not bound by the rules of reciprocity that guide normal social interaction. Often involves insistence that one should be able to do or have whatever one wants, regardless of what is realistic, what others consider reasonable, or the cost to others; OR an exaggerated focus on superiority (e.g., being among the most successful, famous, wealthy) — in order to achieve power or control (not primarily for attention or approval). Sometimes includes excessive competitiveness toward, or domination of, others: asserting one’s power, forcing one’s point of view, or controlling the behaviour of others in line with one’s own desires — without empathy or concern for others’ needs or feelings.

11. INSUFFICIENT SELF-CONTROL / SELF-DISCIPLINE
Pervasive difficulty or refusal to exercise sufficient self-control and frustration tolerance to achieve one’s personal goals, or to restrain the excessive expression of one’s emotions and impulses. In its milder form, patient presents with an exaggerated emphasis on discomfort-avoidance: avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility, or overexertion — at the expense of personal fulfilment, commitment, or integrity.

OTHER-DIRECTEDNESS

Generally, people who have this type of schema typically believe that love is conditional. They become too focused on the reactions, opinions, and approval of others.

In contrast, they didn’t pay much attention to their own desires and inclinations. Such individuals think that others will love and accept them if they satisfy others’ needs and act in a way that others approve of. Therefore, they suppress their own emotions and needs.

12. SUBJUGATION
Excessive surrendering of control to others because one feels coerced — usually to avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment. The two major forms of subjugation are:
A. Subjugation of Needs: Suppression of one’s preferences, decisions, and desires.
B. Subjugation of Emotions: Suppression of emotional expression, especially anger.

Usually involves the perception that one’s own desires, opinions, and feelings are not valid or important to others. Frequently presents as excessive compliance, combined with hypersensitivity to feeling trapped. Generally leads to a build up of anger, manifested in maladaptive symptoms (e.g., passive-aggressive behaviour, uncontrolled outbursts of temper, psychosomatic symptoms, withdrawal of affection, “acting out”, substance abuse).

13. SELF-SACRIFICE
Excessive focus on voluntarily meeting the needs of others in daily situations, at the expense of one’s own gratification. The most common reasons are: to prevent causing pain to others; to avoid guilt from feeling selfish; or to maintain the connection with others perceived as needy. Often results from an acute sensitivity to the pain of others. Sometimes leads to a sense that one’s own needs are not being adequately met and to resentment of those who are taken care of. (Overlaps with concept of co-dependency.)

14. APPROVAL-SEEKING / RECOGNITION-SEEKING
Excessive emphasis on gaining approval, recognition, or attention from other people, or fitting in, at the expense of developing a secure and true sense of self. One’s sense of esteem is dependent primarily on the reactions of others rather than on one’s own natural inclinations. Sometimes includes an overemphasis on status, appearance, social acceptance, money, or achievement — as means of gaining approval, admiration, or attention (not primarily for power or control). Frequently results in major life decisions that are inauthentic or unsatisfying; or in hypersensitivity to rejection.

OVER-VIGILANCE & INHIBITION

Characteristic of the schemas in this domain is the emphasis on internalised strict rules and moral values as well as the minimization of feelings and emotional expression, often at the cost of one’s well-being or interpersonal relationships.

15. NEGATIVITY / PESSIMISM
A pervasive, lifelong focus on the negative aspects of life (pain, death, loss, disappointment, conflict, guilt, resentment, unsolved problems, potential mistakes, betrayal, things that could go wrong, etc.) while minimizing or neglecting the positive or optimistic aspects. Usually includes an exaggerated expectation — in a wide range of work, financial, or interpersonal situations — that things will eventually go seriously wrong, or that aspects of one’s life that seem to be going well will ultimately fall apart. Usually involves an inordinate fear of making mistakes that might lead to: financial collapse, loss, humiliation, or being trapped in a bad situation. Because potential negative outcomes are exaggerated, these patients are frequently characterized by chronic worry, vigilance, complaining, or indecision.

16. EMOTIONAL INHIBITION
The excessive inhibition of spontaneous action, feeling, or communication — usually to avoid disapproval by others, feelings of shame, or losing control of one’s impulses. The most common areas of inhibition involve: (a) inhibition of anger & aggression; (b) inhibition of positive impulses (e.g., joy, affection, sexual excitement, play); (c) difficulty expressing vulnerability or communicating freely about one’s feelings, needs, etc.; or (d) excessive emphasis on rationality while disregarding emotions.

17. UNRELENTING STANDARDS / HYPER-CRITICALNESS
The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of behaviour and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of pressure or difficulty slowing down; and in hyper-criticalness toward oneself and others. Must involve significant impairment in: pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem, sense of accomplishment, or satisfying relationships
Unrelenting standards typically present as: (a) perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one’s own performance is relative to the norm; (b) rigid rules and should/should nots in many areas of life, including unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, or religious precepts; or (c) preoccupation with time and efficiency, so that more can be accomplished.

18. PUNITIVENESS
The belief that people should be harshly punished for making mistakes. Involves the tendency to be angry, intolerant, punitive, and impatient with those people (including oneself) who do not meet one’s expectations or standards. Usually includes difficulty forgiving mistakes in oneself or others, because of a reluctance to consider extenuating circumstances, allow for human imperfection, or empathise with feelings.

We can probably all relate a little to at least a couple of these sometimes. For instance it's normal to feel like a failure or to feel impatient with people sometimes. However, if you find you relate strongly to one or more of these, AND that these feelings are having a significant negative impact on your emotions or level of functioning (for example at work or in relationships or social situations) it might be worth seeking help from a psychologist or counsellor. Treating and changing maladaptive schemas can significantly improve your mood, quality of life, and relationships. 

by Amy Bourke

B.A Psych (Hons). Counsellor and Lecturer in Psychology.